• Image, The National Archives of Australia

In the early fifties right through to the early seventies in Australia, the Federal Government implemented what was known as the Free Milk Scheme.

It was designed for us kids in primary school and came about from a study in the UK after WW2 where it was considered children weren’t getting enough nutrition.

The British Medical Association proclaimed that a ration of milk a day:

  • Doubled the normal growth of children, and
  • Had positive effects on behaviour at school, athletic prowess, absenteeism and dental health.

The scheme in Australia was adopted by the Menzies Government in 1951 and was ended by the Whitlam Government in 1973.

My Primary School days were 1969 to 1975 so I do vividly remember the milk arriving in open crates I think every day and placed in as shady a spot as the milkman could find.

That was all well and good, but on a summers day in WA, an hour long wait till morning recess meant the milk was often taking an atomic turn for the worse.

The bottles were only small, approximately 140ml but the likelihood of scoring a dodgy warm bottle were high. Some kids even brought a can of Quick to mix into the milk to avoid that curdling taste, but others couldn’t cope.

One day in Grade 1, a kid spewed his milk onto the verandah in front of the class room. It set off a change reaction, not as bad as ‘Barfarama’ in the film Stand By Me, but significant nonetheless.

In those days teachers immediately covered vomit with sawdust. It’s that odour that put me off ever drinking milk straight again.

Whatever benefits milk was supposed to have on me ended that day. Despite peer pressure and teacher insistence I never buckled. I couldn’t even bare the smell and never ate cereal my whole life as a result.

“But milk is good for your teeth!”  Well no one told me that alcohol and cigarettes would supersede milk. Now my teeth look like peanuts. Thanks for the heads up though.

Things changed however when as a teenager, I had my first milkshake at Culley’s Tearooms in Fremantle, an absolute institution in The Mall. Peters Ice Cream, ice cold milk straight ladled from the old stainless steel bucket, malt, and plenty of strawberry flavouring.

Then came Masters Iced Coffee in the 600ml carton. Masters Choc was the biggest seller but I’ve always preferred the coffee.

There are two competing brands in WA, Masters and Brownes. When I returned to Perth for work in 1995, Brownes had just released ‘Coffee Chill Percolated’. It was creamier than Masters and I was seriously addicted.

In 2002 I went to Tasmania for work and spent four years drinking at least one a day of South Australia’s Farmer’s Union Iced Coffee.

I may have shed my dislike of straight milk but I’ve completely transferred that disdain into an addiction of flavoured milk.

What the scientists of the 50’s didn’t tell us was that milk makes you fat. I remember going back to WA to see my younger brother a few years ago. He wasn’t well at the time and I was tasked with driving him to medical appointments.

Whenever I was in between appointments I was down at the shops loading up on WA Iced Coffees, comparing them like a sommelier to see if there had been any changes since 1995.

In the process of guzzling pint after pint, my stomach grew to a point described by my partner Lynda, as ‘The Ledge’. This is where my guts protrudes so far as to accommodate a cup of tea sitting down.

I do try and moderate these days but it’s hard especially as having an addictive nature I’ve already given up alcohol and cigarettes. As former Rose Tattoo guitarist, the late Pete Wells said, “Everything you like tries to kill you.”

Well I’m not letting that mantra get the better of me. Here’s my tips for the best in flavoured milk drinks:

  • Strawberry milkshake. Peters Ice Cream preferably and in Ballarat, milk from Inglenook Dairy. Something in that milk I promise. Served in the metal can.
  • Ice Coffee, no ice, just ice cream. We’re lucky that all the local cafés make a fine ice coffee.
  • Browne’s Percolated Iced Coffee (WA). Rich taste and creamy texture.
  • Masters Iced Coffee (WA). Fine quality and goes down quick.
  • Farmers Union Iced Coffee (SA). South Australians love their milk drinks like WA, and this is their pride and joy. It is very sugary and if I’m not wrong it out sells Coke in SA, at least it used to I believe.

All these three have a Lite alternative now but they’re not the same. Go hard or go home I say!