Had an interesting couple of days starting yesterday morning with a call from my best mate Greg who was his usual calm self despite having partially delivered his second child in the lounge room of his West Footscray home! His partner Katie went a bit early and forced Greg into the unenviable position of delivering whilst his first daughter was in her room sound asleep and he was taking instructions over the phone from a midwife in Western General! Well done mate and my first thoughts were, “you just don’t need this in your late 40’s!”

Today was sweltering at Lynda’s parent’s place in Bundoora, particularly when the local electricity grid broke down and we lost the air conditioning…right about the time we had to slip into winter clothes for the trip to the airport! Anyway, we had a lovely day and are now chilling out here doing a bit of people watching. Most people are half asleep or on their phones but I did see Essendon full-forward young Joe Daniher, presumably on his way to a drug rehab centre overseas..(a big Hi to James Hird).

We have been looking forward to this trip for almost a year. Everyone we have met that has been to Japan rates it right up there in terms of desirable destinations and there is a mixture of high expectation and a hell of a lot of unknown. This trip takes us from 6 days in Tokyo down to Kyoto for 4 days, Hiroshima for 2 days, down to the very bottom to Kagoshima, back a little bit to Kumamoto, back up to the world heritage listed island of Miyajima for 2 nights, continuing north to Okayama which gives us access by bus to the art installation Island of Naoshima for a couple of days, then a long trip to Nagano, probably snowbound for a night before heading back to Tokyo for the last night.

We will be using bullet trains for the bulk of the travel which is exciting. For the actual 2 weeks of unlimited Japan Rail bullet train use, costs about $500 each which is great value. The timeliness and accuracy of the trains in Japan are legendary so we are looking forward to it.

When I think of Japan there are a couple of thoughts come to mind:

  • WW2 – Not good and I won’t be mentioning it Basil Fawlty – style either. Movies like The Bridge on the River Kwai and Merry Xmas Mr Lawrence didn’t depict the Japanese soldiers in a great light. I went on an end of season footy trip with Werribee in 1989 to Hawaii and the only cultural thing I did in 7 days was visit Pearl Harbour. The Americans do memorials very well and this was no exception. The Japanese were fearless and the battle, of course, sucked the US into WW2. Apart from that experience we may as well have sat in a pub in Melbourne for 7 days, and to make matters worse I nearly died jumping from a 9th floor hotel balcony down to an 8th floor hotel balcony after close to 48 hours of no sleep and a desire to speak to a German girl who was clearly ignoring me! Somehow I landed on my feet with my arms outstretched upwards looking like a stunned cat and was greeted by screams from the young lady and her mother cursing me in German. I then calmly walked through their apartment and left in somewhat of an altered state. Dickhead.
  • Anime – In the late 60s/early 70’s there were 3 x cartoons from Japan that I still remember and they were all on the ABC. Kimba the white lion, Marine Boy, and Gigantor. Not sure what Kimba did other than ponce around the jungle looking beautiful, Marine Boy had the power to stay underwater without oxygen by eating a couple of pieces of PK chewing gum, and Gigantor was like a Transformer who went around fighting baddies. He was probably more famous for the theme song…Gigantor, GIGAAAAAAAANNTTOOR in a ridiculous baritone voice.
  • The Tojo Brothers – During the halcyon years of World Championship Wrestling where men were men and wore oversized Speedos, legends like Mario Milano and Spiros Arian were household names. Occasionally these champs were joined by international guests such as Brute Bernard, Andre the Giant and the infamous Tojo Brothers from Japan. My younger brother Glen and I would often watch WCW then go into the backyard and try the moves on each other which inevitably would turn into a full-on brawl which would be extinguished by a hosing down from our Mum. The fights would be particularly nasty after watching the Tojo Brothers doing their tag team matches. They had 2 x signature weapons, firstly a straight karate chop with a flat hand, and secondly the evil “rack” which in all reality was just a clenched fist with a knuckle protruding. Whenever they got the rack out against opponents it somehow rendered them helpless when applied to the temple region! They would be shaking and quivering on the floor like 30,000 volts had passed through them. I used to do this to Glen and frankly, he didn’t like it and would soon have me in an irreversible headlock that only cold water from a gushing tap could stop! If you want to see the madness of WCW and the Tojo’s go to this link:

  • Kamikaze Pilots – Recently Lynda and I watched the Japanese film, “The 13 Assassins” set in the 15th century, where 13 Sumarais kill 300 “Claytons” Sumarais. The commitment of these lunatics is undeniable and the spirit of the Sumarai was indeed embedded into a select few Japanese pilots during WW2. One of my favourite comedy sketches ever is by the kings of stoner humour, Cheech and Chong. They are sitting on the couch watching a war movie and the sound suddenly focusses on the movie they are watching. A Japanese General is briefing a squadron of pilots who are about to learn that they, in fact, are going to be Kamikaze Pilots. It goes something like this:

GENERAL – Good morning men. In the great tradition of our forefathers and imperial sumarai’s that have come before us, you are about to embark on a great mission for your country. From here, you will go to your fighter plane, climb in and pull the canopy over your head. The canopy will be locked, preventing you from exiting the aircraft. You will then take off and fly into the Pacific some 100 miles, spot an American warship, accelerate to maximum speed, aim the aircraft directly at the warship ignoring any incoming fire, and crash into the warship killing yourself and all those on board. Has anyone got anything they want to say before you depart?

(Hand goes up at the back of the room)

PILOT – Yes Sir!

GENERAL – What is it?

PILOT – YOU’RE OUT OF YOUR F……G MIND!!

Next stop Tokyo. Trust you had a great Xmas Day.