For Desma, Chambo, Pumpkin, Jim, Glen, Neale , Chris and Dan

 

We were standing in front of the National Gallery on Saturday when a lady nearby turned to her husband and said, “if we were overseas, I’d take a photo of that.” The more you explore Melbourne the more you realise why it’s one of the world’s great cities. Problem is as locals we don’t invest the time to do it.

This past 12-18 months has been pretty shitty on the home front for both Lynda and I. We’ve lost some beautiful humans way too soon, had kids hospitalised, undergone multiple surgeries, lost a job and have family and friends in the fight of their lives. I felt it was time we booked somewhere nice in the city and take a breath.

www.traveldream.com.au is a website that I came across that has some great deals for local and overseas travel, so I grabbed 2 x nights at the Royce Hotel for less than half price. The Royce Hotel www.roycehotel.com.au is nicely located near the Domain and was perfect for walking through some of the city’s leafier areas and viewing unattainable real estate.

We kick-started the weekend by going to a Friday night gig with friends at the Caravan Club in East Bentleigh, just 10 minutes from home. https://www.caravanmusic.com.au/

The Melbourne band Pony Face have been around for 10 years and have garnered a big reputation both here and overseas. They caught our eye last year with their outstanding interpretation of Bruce Springsteen’s murder ballad album from the 70’s, “Nebraska”. They played the whole album beautifully then a few more from their latest album “Déjà vu”. A masterful group of muso’s including veteran guitar maestro Shane O’Mara. The star and driver of the band is undoubtedly the lead singer and guitarist Simon Bailey, a young Bruce lookalike who even wore a shirt with his right sleeve rolled up to the bicep for added effect! Lynda bumped into Simon after the show near the merch table and almost buckled at the knees whilst complimenting him! She found him extremely humble and generous with his time….”oh and did I mention how gorgeous he is?” “Yes, once or twice.”

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Saturday morning we had a big breakfast that was thrown in with the deal from Traveldream and set off for what turned out to be an 8km walk in blistering Spring sunshine. We went down the Anderson St side of the Domain alongside Melbourne’s most famous running track, the 3.8km Tan and over the Yarra River to Gosch’s paddock, not before stopping on the bridge to photograph a rowing regatta.

Gosch’s paddock is a huge expanse of playing fields that accommodate the Melbourne Football Club, Melbourne Victory Soccer Club and Melbourne Storm Rugby League Club who we stopped to see training. Most of them had their shirts off to enjoy the sunshine so to avoid feeling any less inferior than normal, it was time to move on. It was then onto the home of Lynda’s Magpies, the Collingwood Football Club where we checked out the Lou Richards statue, a tiny man who was a giant in our game. There is also a beautiful statue depicting John Landy famously picking up Ron Clarke in an Australian Championship race at the old Olympic Park. A defining act of sportsmanship to this day. The current headquarters of Collingwood is somewhat different to Victoria Park where Lynda was dragged to as a child in the 70’s and forced to stand on empty VB cans in order to watch her heroes like Billy Picken. The Holden Centre is pristine with no expense spared and everyone appeared to have a full set of teeth. Light years away from the primitive cauldron that was Victoria Park.

From there it was across Swan St to the Tennis Centre or Rod Laver Arena. There is now a $400 million extension that looks like a space ship tacked onto the main arena but they have retained the large public areas and grassy fields which is great.

Over the rail bridge and onto Melbourne’s “Great Pyramids”, the MCG. As a symbolic act of quitting alcohol and cigarettes I decided that running the 2008 marathon would be the appropriate punishment for years of self-abuse and therefore cure me of my addictions. It finished at the MCG and I wanted to see the spot where I abused an official due to fatigue. I wasn’t hallucinating because I remember seeing the Dennis Lillee statue at the time and thinking that was the end. Sadly, an official blocked my passage to the great fast bowler, turned me around 360 degrees, and said, “800m to go…that way!” I replied, “You’re f….g kidding aren’t ya?” in a demonic manner only saved for special occasions. His non-descript expression said that this clearly wasn’t the first time an imbecile had fired a crack at him that day.

The William Barak Bridge takes you from the “G” over the railway lines to Birrarung Marr, a stunning expanse of parkland alongside the Yarra that takes you all the way to Princes Bridge and Federation Square. There is some excellent installations along the way celebrating the diversity of Victoria’s indigenous community and the children’s art centre with plenty of “screen-free” activities for the kids. Birrarung Marr is just a great place to sit and reflect, take in our muddy old river and enjoy the views.

Up on to Princes Bridge and off down St Kilda Rd to the Arts District containing Hamer Hall, The Arts Centre, housing the State Theatre and The Australian Music Vault (thttps://www.australianmusicvault.com.au/) then finally The National Gallery. There was an interesting couple of LCD installations out the front as part of a new show from artist Julian Opie. The National Gallery is a gem and we visit probably twice a year and more if there’s an exhibition we’re keen on. Outside of exhibitions it’s free and the bookshop is worth the trip alone. https://www.ngv.vic.gov.au/#

Over the road is the Shrine of Remembrance, our majestic memorial to our service men and women. Despite having served 6 years in the army as a kid, I still don’t feel worthy walking the halls of sacred places like this after my stunted military career. The Shrine has been upgraded with a magnificent Crypt underneath with exhibitions that were both moving and tragic. It makes you feel strangely patriotic and angry when you read about the endevours of the brave men and women who dropped everything to fight. Lynda asked me if I would ever go to war and my answer was yes. The military training instils that in you but more-so you build such a bond with your mates that you simply wouldn’t hesitate. https://www.shrine.org.au/Home

Back to the hotel, some reading and passed out for 2 hours! Freshen up then dinner 100m south just before Toorak Rd is Café Roscoe https://www.caferosco.com.au/the best “bog standard” homemade Italian food you could ever wish for. Full guts, we wobbled back to the room and watched a movie from last year by the extraordinary writer/director Charlie Kaufman called Anomolisa. It’s a stop motion feature that like all great films, leaves you discussing it long after it’s finished.

Sunday was spent catching up with my girls Corrie and Mia. They have both had significant challenges these past few years and have “gutsed” it out so I’m enormously proud of them both. We took them out for lunch then went back to Corrie’s in Preston where Lynda helped Corrie with her Masters in Teaching application and Mia and I sat out the back for an insightful and brutally honest life discussion which was fun. I loved the innocence and laughter of when the girls were little but I’m enjoying this period where the interactions are open and robust.

So that was that. Given we can’t travel till probably December 2019, it’s these little excursions into our wonderful city that get us through the year. We’re off to see Ahn Do, tonight, Michael Palin and Jim Jeffries in December, Michael McIntyre and Rob Brydon in March and last Wednesday we saw Tropical F@#k Storm play their live soundtrack to the Cohen Brothers film “No Country for Old Men” at the State Theatre. No need to go overseas. Then of course it’s time for another season of quality mediocrity when my beloved Saints take the field again. Can’t wait.

Other than reaffirming our vows with Melbourne, we have made one much more important change to our lives and that is no more evening news. When you lose loved ones and friends, it definitely makes you reassess. Part of that reassessment is to remove the debilitating news and replace it with either reading a book or exercise. Can’t believe it took us this long to wake up. It feels so much lighter all of a sudden. Our memories for those we have lost will remain forever and for those fighting we will continue our support 100%. Love to you all.

Below is a dodgy map of the walk for any non-Vics. Cheers