To commemorate David Parkin’s 80th birthday this week I thought I’d share an unlikely story from six years ago. It’s a tad long so I had to write it in two parts.

David Parkin, OAM, four-time AFL Premiership Coach, Educator and member of the AFL Hall of Fame has no idea who I am, however I have five distinct recollections of crossing paths with the great man.

1.  1997 at the WA State Coaching Conference. Parko is the guest of honour and delivers a typically stirring speech before 120 coaches hungry for testosterone-filled footy knowledge. At the end of the speech Parko invites questions from the audience which is broken up into two sections….up the front, the AFL-employed and WAFL-employed coaches and down the back are  the ‘others’, meaning country, suburban and junior coaches under which I was classified, having just completed my third year of coaching country teams.

So, some innocuous questions come from the upper echelon (the AFL and WAFL sector) such as ‘who was your favourite player of all time?’, ‘what was your proudest moment?’, ‘who was your toughest opponent in coaching?’ etc etc cliché cliché, all coming as rapid fire.

Suddenly, after five excruciating minutes of these wankers trying to outdo each other in the brown-nosing department, my moment appears. Thrusting my arm into the air like Arnold Horshack in Welcome Back Kotter, Parko acknowledges me from the 40m distance separating us. “Yes”, he says decisively.

119 heads turn and stare but I’m unperturbed. “Parko (overstretching the familiarity), even the best-laid plans go awry. What process and contingency plans do you have at the first bounce if you realise the opposition match-ups look nothing like you planned during the week?”

There is a pregnant pause which seemingly went for a minute whilst the faces of the upper echelon coaches chuckled and shared contemptuous looks at each other at the expense of me, the ‘vermin’ from the back of the auditorium.

Suddenly Parko’s booming voice arose like Moses announcing the Ten Commandments, “Good question!” I don’t actually remember his answer to the question. All I remember is seeing the upper echelon suddenly sitting to attention, eyes focused on Parko like naughty children and listening to his every word as if it were his last!

At the end of Parko’s answer, I had some of my fellow ‘others’ give me a wink and a pat on the back for representing them in such fine fashion! Thank you, Parko, for taking my question.

2. It’s 2000 and I’m back in Melbourne and have been appointed Assistant Coach of the Box Hill Hawks in the VFL. Parko has now relinquished his Head Coach role at Carlton in the AFL and is mentoring the new coach Wayne Brittain as well as John Worsfold, the former West Coast dual Premiership captain, who is now Assistant to Brittain. This is the first year of the new look VFL. AFL Clubs aligning to traditional VFL/VFA Clubs. We at Box Hill were aligned to Hawthorn and Carlton were aligned to the  Northern Bullants or the old Preston. Box Hill were due to play Northern.

For some reason unbeknown to anyone other than the VFL, they decided to play some games on a Monday night for TV. Not bad in theory, however these games were played at VFL Park or ‘Arctic Park’. With a start time of 7.30pm the only people there were a couple of dedicated family members and their dogs in a stadium with a capacity of 60,000.

I spent an hour and a half in the changerooms helping prepare the players for the game, then it was time for the final address from head coach Donald McDonald. I had already done a full day’s work as a National Account Manager and had built up a significant appetite.

With Donald’s permission, I headed up to the coaches box with my mini-esky full of sandwiches, cake and fruit in order to fill my guts before the game started. I had seen the VFL Park coaches boxes for years on TV but I didn’t realise they were actually adjacent to each other, only separated by 2 metres of pedestrian walkway.’

Mindful of time, I entered our allocated coach’s box, opened up the esky and proceeded to shove all manner of food groups in my gob as fast as I could. Halfway through this ‘gorg-fest’ and with a mouthful clearly evident, I looked to my left and realised that Messrs Parkin, Worsfold and Brittain were staring at me curiously like they were witnessing a Gorilla playing a piano.

I quickly assessed my audience…that’s Parkin, that’s Worsfold and that’s Brittain, and decided the only thing to do was wave. Yes, that’s right, cheeks bulging with food and I waved. They decided they’d seen enough and chose to ignore me.

3. It’s 2001 and Parko has left Carlton and gone back to his spiritual home of Hawthorn as Director of Coaching. I am still at Box Hill, now as Reserves Coach and also having a match day role for the Senior team. Because of the alignment with Hawthorn, Parko decides to spend time in the Box Hill coach’s box a few times during the season as a bit of a mentor to Donald McDonald. He sees me in the box also but at no stage does he know my name.

One particular Sunday my Reserves played North Ballarat at Richmond’s Punt Road Oval and the Seniors played a Hawthorn curtain-raiser on the MCG next door. After my game finished I strolled over to the G, entered through a back door and walked out onto the ground for the first and only time for the ¾ time huddle. I then made my way up to the famous coach’s box that I had seen so many times over the years on TV.

Entering the box, I spot Parko kicking back reading a Footy Record and I say “hello” as if we’ve already been through so much together. He nods and mumbles “g’day” without lifting his head from the magazine. I feel the love and take my position in the box. I then suddenly start thinking about the great coaches who have sat up here, Jeans, Barassi, Blight and Matthews. Before I get to Malthouse, the siren goes and the game is over.

As we take turns filing out of the box, I respectfully let Parko go before me. We then walk down the famous steps so familiar to me after watching so much footy. Next is something that will forever be engraved in my memory. I looked up the big scoreboard and on the screen I saw me and Parko walking down those legendary steps, together as one, in the same frame! So overwhelmed, I again waved and again Parko saw it, this time on the equivalent of a drive-in movie screen! He still doesn’t know my name.

4. Half a dozen rounds later, Box Hill are playing Williamstown at their Point Gellibrand oval. My Reserves game has ended and I go about my post-match duties in the change rooms with the players and staff before heading to the coach’s box for the Senior game.

Again it’s getting close to quarter time, so as I enter the box I acknowledge my peers and am delighted to see that Parko has paid us another visit. He nods his head to be polite then continues to study the Hawthorn players representing Box Hill on the day.

The quarter time siren sounds and given I don’t have a match day role in the Seniors that day, I choose to stay in the box as it’s a long walk from the old Williamstown stand to the huddle and, frankly, I couldn’t be stuffed after a completing my coaching duties for the day.

So there we are…Parko and Me…alone. So where do you start to break the silence? “How are you?” “Received any Queen’s Birthday honours lately?” “Do you think Iraq really have WMD capacity?” No…I said, “Do you want something to eat, Parko? I’m a connoisseur of canteen food in the VFL and these are the best hot dogs you can get.” “OK” he replied.

I pulled my wallet out, opened it and realised that having lost my job recently I was living on small change and it was free of notes. Slightly embarrassed, I looked up to the great man and he flicked me a crisp $50 note and said, “I’ll have a hot dog and a Coke. Get what you want.” I returned with the goods, gave Parko his change and we sat in silence till the other coaches returned, demolishing the best hot dogs in the VFL.

5.  Postscript: Go forward to Grand Final Day at Optus Oval, Box Hill v Werribee. Box Hill play brilliantly and win, led by a snowy blonde centreman with amazing skills and peripheral vision named Sam Mitchell. Ignored by AFL recruiters, Mitchell is seen virtually for the first time by Parko, who is sitting in our box for the last time. Parko exclaims suddenly, “I haven’t seen anyone like this since Greg Williams.”  Box Hill wins convincingly and Parko still don’t know my name.

After the address Parko gave at the 1997 coach’s camp in WA, he told the crowd that they could write to him if they required anything further. I did. I was after some ideas for game-related, fun activities for my country boys. He duly sent me some drills (see below. I love the PARKIN in the return address!) and this was four years before our relationship really took off! Hopefully, we can meet again someday, Parko, and reflect on a partnership that at times may have lacked the intimacy of some others, but was no doubt strengthened by the adversity we overcame together. 🙂