“I’ve had enough! Get inside or you’ll go in the shower!”  Margaret Wilson 1922-2014

As one of 9 x children growing up in WA, parental discipline was imperative. There was a 3 x year gap between myself and my younger brother Glen, a 10 year gap to my next eldest and a further 6 x years or so to the eldest of the siblings.

Regardless of the age span of the children, one thing was consistent….”play up” and you’ll be punished. Our Mum was left to do the bulk of it, mainly because the old man did shift work as a security guard at the local refinery.

Her weapons of choice were two fold, a plastic object called the “yellow ruler” and water either inflicted by hose or the shower. The yellow ruler was a  bright yellow piece of Mattel Hot Wheels racing car track, which may have been used once by Glen and I, then discarded. It had some flex but when hit on the back of the legs without warning, it could leave a welt similar in shape to railway tracks.

Water was the dominant of the two punishments. If Glen and I were sat at the kitchen table it was commonplace that we were fighting so he would place the Rice Bubbles packet directly in front of his face in order to ignore me. All it would take was one smart arse comment from me and Glen’s red hair and insane eyes would pounce. It was “on” and Mum, who was incredibly strong for her size, would drag both of us into a cold shower, clothes and all.

But this is where her psychology set her apart. We would end up dragging her in and we’d all end up laughing. Glen and I would change into a fresh set of clothes and go to school whilst Mum cleaned up. Another washing of clothes was painful but was worth it if it meant dampening the likelihood of a fist fight and potential injury.

The same occurred with the garden hose. Glen and I would come home from another boring Little Athletics meet in blistering WA summer heat, and before we could start an argument, Mum would be waiting around the side of the house, hose already on, crimped and at the ready. As soon as we were close enough, BANG!, the water was in your face and you found yourself blindingly swinging punches!

This inevitably would start the chase around our tiny backyard and would end with Glen and I ganging up and drenching Mum as we all exhaustedly laughed our heads off. Whatever was bothering us, no matter how grumpy we were, it was all forgotten.

Fast forward to 1996 and my ex-wife Tina and I have taken my parents to a trendy café in Fremantle along with our one year old daughter Corrie. There’s a 3 or 4 x year old kid running amok in the café, banging into other patrons and screaming at the top of his lungs. The parents are seemingly oblivious to what’s happening or don’t care, so I leaned across to Mum and said, “what would you have done in this situation?” She replied, “I’d go to gaol for what I did to you lot.”

I was a bit taken aback and went after some clarity.

“What do you mean?”

“Well put it this way, do you remember me hurting you when you were a kid.”

“Probably not”

“I hit you, threw the dogs on you, threw you in the shower and hosed you down, but for every one punishment there were 9 x hugs”

It’s a simple philosophy and it worked. Firm discipline offset with overwhelming, unconditional love.

Over the past few days I’ve watched hundreds of entitled, selfish, white men making a mockery of our beautiful city of Melbourne. I’m so angry I just want to burst, but I’m doing my best to be as empathetic as possible and ask some questions.

What sort of values have you guys been raised with and what are you like at home with your partners and kids? How can you be this inconsiderate and ill disciplined?

You haven’t had to stop work during lockdown, in an industry that pays extraordinarily well thanks to your union that you are now trashing and you are pulling stunts like blocking roads with tables and chairs because you had your tea rooms removed? Maybe you should pop into the Royal Melbourne just down the road and see how the ICU nurses are coping with zero breaks in full PPE?

Yesterday and today’s demonstration apparently is because you don’t want the jab?  So holding up traffic, getting drunk, scaring innocent citizens and urinating publicly is the answer?

You don’t like being told good health and safety advice is that it? Like wearing a helmet and having your union protect you with all manner of PPE so you can get home safely every day? But when it comes to a jab you don’t believe what eminent scientists and physicians say? Does that mean if you’re car breaks down, you don’t listen to a mechanic?

Do you think you’re tough, the way you damage property, throw bottles and hit cops from behind? Our country lost thousands of brave men and women who fought in wars in the belief of providing freedom for Australia. Freedom isn’t what you clowns do. Freedom from what? Try living in Hong Kong or Afganistan and your actions are an insult to our veterans, police and front line workers.

So is it your upbringing or is it because you just don’t care that 70% of recent Covid transmissions have come from the building sector and you have no respect for the wider community? Whether or not you didn’t get enough discipline offset with plenty of affection, the empathy is over. You’re a bunch of morons.

Melbourne has suffered enough. I’ve channelled my late mum and the solution is simple. Bring out the water cannon. Cold water, brisk Melbourne day and these imbeciles will soon forget why they are wandering aimlessly around the CBD, have a laugh and go home. We want our city back.