I’d like to introduce you to Good-One-Sun. She is my alter ego whilst in Japan and we have named her in memory of comedy greats, Lano and Woodley (Good one Frank!). All Good’s comments will be in italic as I type, as she challenges me over my knowledge of anything, let alone Japan. You see, I’ve struggled to feel any angst here at all. All I see are beautiful people with raven black, straight hair, perfect skin, silence wherever you go, an overwhelming sense of humility and care for others, people reading books for God’s sake, what is this joint?! We saw our first homeless person today and even he had New Balance sneakers on and all his rubbish was stacked neatly next to him out of respect for pedestrians.

I need someone local with a bit of fire in the belly and Good-One-Sun has been in my head all day challenging my thinking and basically hanging shit on me. Good is 60, has 4 grown up children, all successful business people, is married to the President of Suntory Corporation but still works part-time at our hotel as a housekeeper to stay busy. On weekends she enjoys flower arranging, calligraphy and trap shooting.

Ok so today was art day and it was a cracker. By sheer accident, there was an exhibition at The Mori Arts Centre in Roppongi Hills by Japan’s greatest post-war contemporary artist Takashi Murakami, and the exhibition was the ”500 Arhats”. (You’ve never heard of Murakami). Not really but I had seen some of his work in New York last year. (Rubbish). Anyway, it was one of those gobsmacking experiences that leave your head spinning at how on earth anyone could produce art like this. It’s impossible to bring it to life with a few photos but all I can say is it was a privilege to see it. (You’re getting too emotional). Yeah, but it was insane. ( Shut the f….k up and get on with it. Murakami is mere white bread here. He’s only 52, a puppy, a new kid on the block). Here are some photos anyway.

The Roppongi precinct is dominated by the Roppongi Building which is where the exhibition was held. It was on the 52nd floor and there was also a sky deck for more views of the city. (Why you show more views of Tokyo. People have seen enough already). I’ll make that call thanks. (Iriot)

(Who do you fink you are with that pose?..a fiwosipher?) It’s just a look I’ve made my own over the years. (Leally? Well get lid of it. It’s stupid. Take after your girlfriend in future. Composure and humility, not glandeose phoughts of a higher plane that you can never leach you fool!) Thanks, I’ll bear that mind.

As soon as we exited the Subway at Roppongi, 3 young girls rushed over asking us to take their photo under the spider. I then remembered reading about the sculpture but hadn’t even looked yet so I asked the girls, “Where is the Spider?”. They simultaneously screamed, “There!!” and 3 metres away was the legendary Spider of Roppongi. (How you know it’s legendary? You couldn’t even see it from a short distance. You blind or somefing?) Sun was in my eyes, so anyway we took their photo pretending to be spiders and then they took ours doing the same. (How old are you? Fifteen?). Just having a laugh Good. (Just being a dickhead I say).

From Roppongi we walked to Midtown Tokyo and went to the Suntory Art Gallery where there was an exhibition of old stuff. (You’re such a Philistine). Beautiful artifacts from 1AD through to 17th Century, from scrolls to sculptures, textiles, it was all stunning. Conspiracy theorists would argue that this level of fine art couldn’t have been made in those days without help. (Oh, so Aliens just allive and help did they?) Well, you’ve got to ask the question, given this level of exquisite work isn’t something you can knock up in a shed even today. (We Japanese are patient not like you bogans. You panic if there’s not enough gas in your BBQ cylinder). That’s a bit racist. (So be it. Harden up)

Here are some photos from midtown Tokyo:

Hotel 8pm. Just wanted to share what can only be described as an authentic Japanese experience these past 2 nights (I’ll be the judge of that). Our hotel is in a narrow side street and as I’ve mentioned previously there are literally thousands of tiny bars and restaurants in these streets that you have to explore. Last night we went over the road to one and it was incredibly intimate. No one knew a word of English and we had no idea what to do. The waiter tried to explain that we had to order from the vending machine. Eventually, after staring at the machine for a few minutes, the chef came over and sort of explained what we had to do. You had to choose from the tiny pictures on the machine, select a number and put your money in. All meals were A$9 or less. Then a little ticket comes out and you give it to the waiter and sit down. The meals took 5 mins to prepare and the food was unbelievable! The restaurant takes a max of 12 people at a time and all the sauces, cutlery and iced water are there when you sit down. I can’t describe how tasty the food was. In fact so good we went back for more tonight and took photos this time. (Not bad. Yes this the true Japan. Mix it up a bit and don’t be a cleature of habit). Will do Good.

From dinner, we went for a stroll down main rd Ginza and it was packed with “Salary Men” (Japanese professionals), and nowadays, “Salary Women” all coming home from work and buying fashion essentials from the world’s most expensive stores. Incredibly high end and out of my league. (What you mean? You saying your high plofile job selling biscuits doesn’t cut it in Ginza?) No, I’m just saying my priorities are different these days. I have children that need looking after still and at my age, I’m always searching for ways to achieve a simple happy life. (Sounds pletty bruddy boring to me). Well, that’s your opinion but do you really think these young professionals in Tokyo, earning bucketloads of disposable cash working 15 hours a day 6 days a week, are actually HAPPY? (Yes. I can tell you without a skellick of doubt, they are seriously f….g HAPPY!) Fair enough. Goodnight.