I’m a massive sports lover and certainly the Olympics when we were growing up in the 60’s and 70’s were the highlight every four years.

Sadly my yearning for the games has diminished over the years, probably coinciding with the entrance of professionals and in particular the Dream Team who destroyed everyone in their path at the 1992 games.

Now we have golf and tennis with individuals who earn more in a year than a Pacific Island GDP. Also, I know I’m showing my age but skateboarding, freestyle BMX and break dancing? Please.

There was a glimmer of what the Olympics is all about the other night when Molly O’Callaghan invited Ariarne Titmus up onto the gold medal dais for the national anthem.

I’m no patriot but that little bit of classy sportsmanship even generated a spot of salty discharge from the eyes. I still haven’t used the word ‘girt’ in my life but the anthem never sounded better.

Channel Nine have the broadcasting and it’s been an interesting choice for a couple of the special commentators.

First one that springs to mind is the former AFL and Fremantle Dockers champion Matthew Pavlich taking on the equestrian events.

Now I’m not sure of Matthew’s breeding and lineage but if he’s not from that blue-blood privileged stock in Adelaide where I know he was drafted from, his credentials in this arena could be questioned.

It’s certainly not back in Fremantle. You see, the industry of my home town of Kwinana emits it toxic smoke towards Fremantle with the afternoon breeze, ironically named, ‘The Fremantle Doctor’. All livestock in the general path are at high risk of death, so the chances Matthew has mounted a horse before are low.

Then there is Mark ‘Tubby’ Taylor commentating the diving. Surely someone has played a joke on Tubby and the viewing audience.

The only experience Tubby had with diving was launching himself off a hotel balcony into a pool during a Test Series in India. Even then it would have ended up a ‘belly whacker’.

What’s next? Politicians wanting to commentate?

We could have the PM do the boxing. He could see first-hand that he’s not the only person to be raised in a commission house by a single parent.

Trump could cover the shooting events. Self-explanatory. And Peter Dutton could take on the sailing. Only the first three get to stay and the rest get sent back.

Anyway I’m looking forward to the athletics as always. Anything from 3km and over is utterly intriguing and nerve racking.

In the meantime, if you’re up for some hilarious insights into the Paris Games you can’t go past Roy & HG’s latest podcast, People, Medals and Cheese.

If you enjoyed these national treasure’s TV show during the 2000 Olympics or if you are just a fan of their most recent podcasts, Bludging on the Blindside, you will absolutely love this daily series.

https://www.abc.net.au/listen/programs/bludging-on-the-blindside/bludging-on-the-blindside/104113964