“I never go to the country. Air you can’t see is air you can’t trust” Woody Allen
Just got home after another action packed day. A 2 ½ hour circle cruise around Manhattan, 2 hours in MoMA, a trip to the Top of the Rock, the lookout 70 floors up on the Rockefeller Centre and more amazing New Yorkers we met who have been unbelievably kind.
But tonight is a cathartic evening for me as I have a statement to make about mine and Lynda’s imminent future. It’s a letter to my boss Drew, my team at Campbell Arnotts and my children Corrie and Mia. It goes something like this:
Dear you know who you are,
The past 4 days In NYC have been game changing. I feel I have found my spiritual home in Brooklyn and NYC and intend doing something about it before I get too old or die. I have been embraced by the brothers here and having witnessed some of the great art works today which has galvanized my thinking and confirmed that I too am destined to be a full time artist living in New York…sort of Basquiat-style except I’m white..and I don’t paint but what the hey?
Anyway, putting that aside, I now have developed a full blown Brooklyn swagger and accent. I no longer go to the toilet but rather “the baaatroom”, and nothing is ever all right, rather it’s “aayite”.
I can confirm that Lynda has taken a job teaching at Malcolm X Primary School and they have agreed to pay the Hex fees of her Masters. This leads me to my immediate future. Today I met a wonderful man called Riccardo in the Meatpacking District who asked if I had been taking photos of the city. Coincidentally I had and he asked if he could see them. After filing through my camera he asked if I had studied the art form. I said no, but my eldest daughter does at VCA. He said, “that’s probably where she got the talent from”. Taken aback I was blown away when he said he could hook me up with master director Martin Scorsese for an interview regarding a vacant art directors role at his and “Bobby” Deniro’s company, Tribeca Pictures. All this for just $60! (he said he needed to top up his Subway card and grab some groceries on the way home). So tomorrow’s the big day. Coffee with Marty in the East Village at 10am. Unbelievable.
So that brings me to the conclusion that my time is now up with Campbell Arnotts and my long term future is in the Big Apple. Bearing that in mind I’d like to get a few things off my chest. Firstly to my boss Drew. I met Charles Tyrwhitt in person today in Times Square (see photo below if you don’t believe me). You have been found guilty by the king of business fashion himself, of deliberately plagiarizing MY fashion sense. For that you have been struck off the mailing list and black banned from any future purchases on line. Oh.. and he said to get rid of the cufflinks you big girl! Thankyou for employing me and allowing me to clean up after you for the past year. Finally you can forget the Gold Passes and Richmond will finish 9th. My resignation will be forthwith upon agreeing to terms with Mr Scorsese.
To my team..what a bunch of degenerate, unsophisticated vermin you lot turned out to be. If it wasn’t for me you’d be in prison or a trailer park somewhere. Count your blessings and don’t you ever forget me.
To my beloved daughters Corrie and Mia..it’s been a great 19 odd years, but let’s face it you’ve syphoned every last cent out your old man so now it’s my time. Good luck in your future endevours and give Rosie a big hug for me.
Right..that should do it. Here’s some photos from today. Goodnight once again and as all good New Yorkers say, “your welcome”.
L to R – 1. Charles Tyrwhitt HQ Times Square 2 & 3. Views from the “Top of the Rock” 4. This cafe in front of the Rockefeller Centre converts to a famous ice rink in winter used in many films 5. Sculpture in front of the Rockefeller Centre
Artwork in MOMA – 1 & 2. Monet’s “Water Lilies” 3. Picasso’s “The Kitchen” 4. Matisse 5-7. Warhol 8. Lichenstein 9. Van Gogh’s “Starry Night” 10. Jackson Pollock 11. Punk collage
River Cruise around Manhattan and street walking
