“Well it’s time for me to go folks, but before I do, I just want to leave you with something the great Maharishi Guru told me. I studied with the Maharishi for 15 long, long, boring years…and in that time I didn’t learn that much….but before I left, the Maharishi told me something I’ve never EVER forgotten, and whenever I’m in front of a crowd like this I always like to share it because…well it mean’t somethin’ to me I guess.

The Maharishi said….”ALWAYS…no wait, it was NEVER..no, ALWAYS keep a litter bag in your car. Doesn’t take up much room, and when it gets full.. you can just toss it out the window!”

Thankyou goodnight!

Steve Martin 1976

September 9th 2014, 8.30am on a train to Boston. I’ve always loved the idiocy of that sketch from Steve Martin. The album was introduced to me by a dear friend Mark Carter who is no longer with us and we used to play the record “Let’s Get Small” and  laugh our guts out in the early 80’s stuck in the Army. It sort of sums up New York in a sense in that it doesn’t quite make sense! You just go with the flow and enjoy the ride.

We are now on our way to Boston in the train and it doesn’t take long before you hit beautiful scenery out of New York and into New York State. Greenery and houses with big yards is the first impression.  I quickly wanted to mention a couple more highlights I forgot yesterday if you are thinking about coming over:

  • The High Line…an amazing 2 km walk through the city. One of the best things you can do in NYC and it’s free!
  • Coney Island…historical, cheesy and the Cyclone ride will ensure you will need to see a chiropractor for the next 12 months. Hilarious and genuinely frightening!
  • There are no flies or mozzies. I think I saw 1 fly and he looked pretty tired and asking to be swatted to put him out of his misery!
  • To any trees or saplings out there, pay attention. There’s a fair chance you’re going to end up a napkin in a takeaway paper bag in New York! Can’t believe how many serviettes Americans go through.

Whenever I head out of a city and into the country my mind always flashes to my younger brother Glen whom I miss dearly. He is living in Waroona, 2 hours south of Perth on 10 acres with his wife Rozzy and 2 beautiful boys Jake and Tom. I haven’t seen nearly enough of him over the past 30 odd years and he is probably the funniest bloke you could ever meet. We are frankly polar opposites but we share the same values that we were raised with and we both loved footy and cricket. Glen moved to the country at 16 and did it tough working in wood mills and learned how to become a boner in an abattoir for many years. Fiercely loyal and generous to a tee is the bro, and God help you if you breach his trust! The biggest thrill of my footy career was playing with and coaching him for 3 years in WA in 1995. He was a star but notoriously lazy on the track! One of those country players you hear about from time to time, “could have played AFL”. I have no doubt if he was playing junior footy today he would have been picked up and taught good habits early by an AFL club, as he was such a dominant player in the South Fremantle district juniors.

Anyway whenever Glen comes to Melbourne, you can see the desperation build on his face regarding the need to get to the country. He likes Melbournians and he loves going to the footy, especially when the Saints are playing, but he hates crowds! As we were wandering around Time Square the other day I mentioned to Lynda, how do you reckon Glen would go here? This, I think would be the outcome:

“Mr Wilson, you are charged with the murder of 4 people in Times Square on Friday the 10thof June. Each victim appears to suffered a fatal blow not dissimilar to that inflicted on a lamb or pig in the midst of execution for slaughtering purposes. How do you plead?”

“Not guilty your honour”

“On what grounds Mr Wilson?”

“Claustrophobia your honour”

“Guilty as charged”

Miss you Bro and hope to see you soon.

6.30pm Boston. Can’t believe I’ve “arsed” getting this apartment! It’s in the coolest area in Boston. Old apartments walking distance to everywhere and its so nice inside. We booked this one thru Airbnb and the New York apartment through Housetrip.com. It’s so much cheaper than a hotel and it really feels much more like a home. You get the added bonus of local knowledge also. We saw John our host in New York quite a few times but he just made sure we were ok for linen, towels etc and couldn’t be more helpful. For him it’s a full time job as he has 16 apartments he manages. Our hosts in Boston, Cindy and Mark aren’t around at all while we’re here and everything was so well organized. I just gave her a quick call to let her know we made it. It’s a really stunning apartment.

https://www.airbnb.com/rooms/2183058

We took a walk straight away to get our bearings. It’s a far cry from the hustle and bustle of New York and should be a great wind down before flying home. There are waterfront elements of Hobart and a real Melbourne feel about the people and the city so far. They are sporting mad, love drinking and have a strong Italian and Irish background. That alone makes for a feisty bunch! I found this incredible old fashioned barbers close by who cut hair, do shaves and create tattoos! All the barbers are covered in tats, have the broadest Boston accents and don’t mind dropping the “f bomb”. I got in at a good time, waited 30 mins then was in the chair as “Dave” worked me over like I’ve never been worked over before! Almost 90 mins later I now have a super clean 50’s rockabilly haircut and the most incredible shave so finely cut that I won’t need another shave for a week! It was such a great experience and it was worth it just to listen to these guys. Apparently the National Geographic channel wanted to do a reality program featuring them, but the boys themselves rejected the offer when they saw how it was edited after the first week’s filming. An awesome experience. Looking forward to the next couple of days.