Frank:What’s this a prophylactic wrapper? You were having sex in our bed?
George:My bed is too small
Estelle:I can’t sleep in there
George:What are you talking about?
Frank:That’s it you’re grounded. You want to live in this house, you live by my rules…YOU’RE GROUNDED!!
The Costanza Family, Queens NY, NY
Brooklyn Monday 8thSeptember 5pm. Just returned from another “semi made up, lets go with the flow day”. Got shafted by Google today. Wanted to go to a batting cage in Queens and hit some balls but the joint doesn’t exist anymore. The plan was to do that then go to MoMA PS1, another contemporary gallery in Queens. Decided to just get on the subway and head east and press the head against the glass and observe Queens. Big tough neighbourhood with a multitude of cultures sharing its space. Lots of South Americans and even a strong Irish community. When we got to the end of the line at Flushing, it was all Chinese, I mean a couple of hundred thousand of them and us 2 dorks from Melbourne! Just before Flushing is 2 big sporting arenas Flushing Meadow for the tennis and the old Shea Stadium, now Citi Park, home of the New York Mets baseball team. Both stadiums are out in very unattractive areas unlike Rod Laver Arena. Nothing beats the Melbourne sporting precinct and I’m saying that objectively.
We then got to our stop for MoMA PS1 and bumped straight into a classic art deco diner and grabbed a bite. Waiters in black and white, immaculate inside and awesome service, seemed light years away from the metal and dilapidated grunge that was outside. Then went to MoMa PS1 which is called that because it was an old public school saved by a beneficiary, who allowed artists to originally live and work there but it’s now just a space for art. Unfortunately they were packing up a heap of installations so there wasn’t a lot on show. There was a boiler room in the basement where some apparently famous artist locked himself away for ages in the 70’s and thoroughly cleaned everything to pristine condition. Then came the odd bit. He covered all the beautiful brass in gold leaf using his body fluids to glue the leaf to the boiler…we’re talking blood, sweat, tears, urine and other unmentionable excretions. This was to represent the hard work supposedly. Some Clag might have done the trick if he’d only asked someone perhaps? I do like contemporary art but I really struggle sometimes. After visiting a gallery in Dublin a few years ago, Lynda and I created the “Man’s Arse” series of photo essays, that consisted of my arse being photographed (with clothes on thankfully) in various landmarks around Ireland and Paris. The collage looks great but unfortunately not many galleries were keen..in fact none.
The building MoMA PS1 is sensational with a rooftop café and garden. Great views of Manhattan. We then hopped back onto the subway, popped into Grand Central for one last look and then headed for our beloved Central Park for a final walk from east to west this time through a section called The Ramble. A couple of Perth girls took our last Central Park photo, and we reciprocated. Farewell to the park and subway home.
Tip time for what it’s worth:
- Toilets…There isn’t a lot of public facilities so make the most of every situation you get if you’ve got an old bladder like mine!
- Food…there isn’t grocery shops like we are used to here. Depends where you stay but you can rely on the thousands of convenience stores for just about anything. Food is cheap. In terms of eating out, put it this way, if I hadn’t have walked as much as I had, I would be 120kg right now. The food is awesome and there are healthy options if you want them. I just chose poorly.
- Shopping…we are normally not big shoppers (other than the magnificent collection of business shirts I obtain on line) but we couldn’t help ourselves here. The best prices and quality on jeans, t shirts and sneakers and unbelievable range. Bought too many gifts and paid the price mailing stuff home so pack nothing to take with you!
Favourite bits:
- Central Park…say no more. Pure peace and tranquility amongst the mayhem.
- The people….so many great conversations and their energy is intoxicating. Can’t tell you how many times we received help without asking. Love their confidence and lack of inhibition.
- Galleries…soaking up priceless works of art and the more unusual stuff is good for the soul. NYC has some of the best in the world.
- Food…anything you want at a great price.
- Subway…just brilliant and easy as.
- Circle Line Cruise…absolute must for getting your bearings and photo opportunities. Do the full Manhattan Island.
- Comedy in West Village..great value laughs
- Harlem Spiritual Tour…stunning and uplifting
- Broadway….bit hexy, but you can get cheap tickets if you are patient. All shows are first class because they have to be.
- Amateur Night at The Apollo….hilarious and unforgettable
- Guided tours…there is The New York Pass but this time we used the Explorer Pass because it had a longer time limit to see things. Worked a treat and we got our money’s worth seeing about 10 sights.
- The 9/11 remembrance pools and museum….The pools are humbling and the museum is spectacular albeit a bit over the top.
Not so favourite bit:
- The patriotism at the baseball and football. Americans are very selective in their memories of conflicts worldwide. George Bush Jnr never left the US before becoming President and Americans have the lowest passport ownership in the world. Given that statistic, you’re not going to engage in a deep political argument around the damage the US military has caused over the past 60 years or so! You just have to bite your tongue unfortunately.
The biggest thing we will remember about NYC is to expect the unexpected. Just when you think there is some semblance of normality, BANG! something out of the blue will visually rock you, sometimes negatively but mostly in a positive way. Just the other night we popped into a local bottle shop to buy our host John a bottle of wine, and the place was so heavily fortified in thick glass I didn’t know what to do. A woman popped her head up behind a box of beer and asked what we wanted, but I couldn’t touch anything and I wasn’t sure what to do. I worked in the booze game for 8 years and saw protected spirits sections in Tassie, but this was the biggest cone of silence I’d ever seen! There was one tiny hole in the glass that sort of turned in a L shape and on it was rested an eftpos machine. Her arm twisted through the hole and handed me the wine like she was working in an infectious disease laboratory! There is absolutely no way you could rob them! Anyway it’s pack up time and off to Boston early tomorrow for a few days then flying out Saturday. Trust all’s well. Lots of love, Willow and Lynda.
